Waking up this morning, I laid in bed listening to the puppies fussing with each other and then dozing off again. I felt Anna breathing beside me and shifting to borrow some of my body heat. The sun peeking through the partly drawn curtains offered a possibility of respite from the last few days rain. It is my Saturday and I don't intend to waste it!
What do I have to accomplish today? What tasks are on my list to make me feel as if I got ahead of the unending mass of chores that I set for myself? Which ones are on the list but will probably never be done? What can I shift to another day or another season?
I once wondered what made me so driven to do stuff, to perform some tasks with a fierce determination while disdainfully ignoring important work that would have altered the arc of my life. I don't worry as much about that any longer; I chose not to regret decision that only hurt me a long time ago. I guess that time has cooled the fire of self examination somewhat, or at least the heat of self recrimination.
This morning I'll launch into completing a pallet wood dog palace that the new girls don't seem to care about yet. They love the small space under the wood pile where they can escape all the predators lurking in the back yard. The camo pattern tarp that covers the pile of small Tamarack logs is another favorite. It is the hub of a non-stop game of hide and seek, they can run under it in and pounce on each other all the while making glorious noise. Maybe in the spring they'll figure out how to use this wooden kennel.
In the back of my mind looms the fate of my old van. The early nineties Toyota Previa that has been a part of so many adventures in a pivotal era of my life. The sight of it is shadowed with twenty five years of hauling friends and their bikes and beer and skis and dogs and boxes and beer and camping stuff and boats and... essentially all the things that I've loved for almost half my life. It doesn't run right now, the starter needs to be rebuilt I think, but I'm reluctant to put much money into it and I'm not giving it a lot of my time either. So it quietly rusts on the driveway and stays on my list of future chores.
The rush to make today count has faded some, I suppose poured too much momentum into the keyboard just now. Perhaps another cup of coffee will tip the balance. Lets find out shall we?
